TRY TOO HARD

-… I don’t know why. I’m just addicted

-What did you say you were addicted to again?

-Pornography on the Internet

-I thought that’s what you said…

-…

-…

-I have so much love to give…

-Why don’t you give it to a woman?

-I want to. I fall in love everyday. I always try. It’s not from lack of trying

-Maybe you try too hard

-You’re right. I am a try-hard

-I didn’t say that

-Okay, you were right, I am a try too hard

-I didn’t say that either

-Yes you did

-Well I didn’t really mean it

-That’s the problem

-What problem?

-Why I’m addicted to Pornography on the Internet

-What do you mean?

-Huh?

-How are the two related?

-Well I fall in love everyday and I’m not loved back. The women I fall in love with don’t really mean it

-What does pornography on the Internet do? Does it really mean it? What does pornography on the Internet mean?

-Ejaculation

-That’s not love

-I know

-Then what is it?

-Ejaculation

-Men… at least you’re not on the streets raping

-I couldn’t do that. I love women

-Do you love women on the Internet?

-I love them especially

-I will never understand men

-Don’t worry men don’t understand anything

-Do you look at soft porn?

-What do you mean soft porn, hazy lighting, lacy curtains and no ejaculation?

-No I just meant are you vulgar?

-I wasn’t

-What do you mean? You weren’t? Are you vulgar now?

-Well not intentionally

-Stop talking like that and tell me the truth

-Well I meant I didn’t start out vulgar, I might have been a bit rude but I’m not taking all the blame

-So you are vulgar?

-Yes but it’s not my fault

-Who’s fault is it then, who is to blame?

-The Internet

-The Internet?

-That’s right. There is more porn on the Internet than television programmes. I didn’t want to become vulgar but I started flicking through the channels and got bored so now all I watch are fat little people having sex with farmyard animals. I either watch that or harem’s of women wearing burka’s gangbanging men wearing ski masks

-I don’t believe you

-That’s all right. I don’t care

-You can’t find that sort of thing on the Internet

-You can find anything on the Internet. The Internet has ruined the morality of an entire generation

-You really talk some shit

-It’s true. People now do the things that they want to do in real life in front of a computer screen

-Like

-Dating, shopping, spying…

-That’s it?

No, they also do their banking and they watch porn

-What, the women do their shopping and the men watch porn?

-No the worlds gone topsy turvy and now the men do their shopping and the women watch porn

-Together?

-No, that’s the problem. The Internet has connected the world but the Internet has alienated the population

-Isn’t that a contradiction?

-Everything’s a contradiction

Andrew Stuart Buchanan